Today, we?re looking at some vintage Street Fighter action. It?s a series I?ve enjoyed for some time, but it?s only when you return to some of the earlier entries that you recognise the terrible aspects. Or, rather, aspect. I think it?s safe to assume that these veterans have been fighting for some considerable time. As such, they should have refined trash talk and opponent-mockery to perfection. Not so. Very much not.
Balrog is the main offender here. In Street Fighter II, his closing line to defeated challengers is ?my fists have your blood on them.? This seems like the kind of thing you say in the heat of the moment, and are hugely embarrassed by on reflection afterwards. A truly awful line. But then, he?s the kind of huge beefcake that wouldn?t win any awards for eloquence.
The same title saw fit to equip Vega with another slice of sabre-sharp wit. ?Handsome fighters never lose battles,? he announces proudly. This bodes ill, when the close-up view reveals quite the hideous visage. Perhaps I?ve found the reason why I always perform so badly when I choose Vega. All in all, it?s fortunate that the quality of these guys? remarks are much improved in the later games. With the advent of the taunt, they fare a lot better. These are performed in conjunction with a little pose, which adds some much needed personality.
In Super Street Fighter IV, each character has ten personal actions to choose from, and they?re enough to excuse the earlier missteps. My particular favourite is M. Bison?s hand-on-hips ?I pity you?? You can tell by the utterly patronising tone of voice here that he really does, which is what makes it entertaining. Other highlights include does your ugliness embarrass you?, I?m awesome!, you can?t fight if you can?t cook! and of course, you cannot keep my fists in your sight, for they move with the fury of hell! Credit to Gen at the end there, the selection wouldn?t have been quite melodramatic enough without him.
Finally, hulking man-beast Sagat offers a simple whispered ?boo.? Easily amused as I am, that was much appreciated.
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